Homesickness: Depressed or Melancholy about being away from home and family

It was the fourth of July on Monday - and it snuck up on me. I have been traveling a lot - From May 18 - May 25 I was in Pakistan and then I was in Nepal from May 30 until June 11th, Afghanistan from June 11 - 24th, and Norway and Denmark from June 24th until June30th.  Almost 6 weeks straight! I sat there on the 4th of July missing South Carolina and Washington DC and New York City. I wanted to eat my dad's fantastic potato salad and a tomato sandwich (with Hellman's mayonnaise). I wanted a barbecue with hot dogs and hamburgers and corn on the cob. I wanted to watch fireworks. Most of all, I wanted to just hang out with my friends - good friends. The kind you can talk about inane things with and giggle and just HANG OUT. I didn't really make an effort to find out if there was any "American" stuff going on in Thailand though. I was "home" from traveling but it didn't feel like home.

But Bangkok isn't really my home unless home is where your cat is. I have belongings in a storage unit in South Carolina and a storage unit in Amsterdam. I have my things in my apartment in Bangkok but I'm still trying to make that my "home" - I bought some carpets in Afghanistan and i'm having a ceiling fan installed. By the time it becomes home - it may be time to leave.

I have a strong urge to travel - I've been wanting to go trekking in Nepal, learn to tango in Buenos Aires, or just travel through Laos, Cambodia, Burma, the islands of Thailand and Vietnam. But I also just want to have a place I can come home to. I've been thinking about downsizing to a cheaper apartment here in Bangkok and consolidating all my stuff here. But eh... I miss having a home. Where I know my neighbors - where I can pop out to the local shops and say hello to the folks. I feel a bit uprooted. or maybe I just need a holiday.

Khlong observations

Khlong Observations: July 2011

hot pink bougainvillea and oleanders spilling over balconies -
suddenly, a flash of an orange fish suspended in a opaque green fish tank precariously perched over the edge and
drooping green trees against a cerulean blue sky.
Wicker bird cages, gingerbread trim, and teak houses with
saffon monk's robes hanging on the clothesline.

the smell of green curry and chilis hitting hot oil
rotting vegetation, diesel fumes, frangipani

Rickety green foot bridges
old trains hurtling across the khlong
arches of yellow flowers reflected in the murky water.

Re-post:Humanitarians: missionaries, misfits, and mercenary part 2

I just finally posted this but it keeps popping up as July 2010 - ....

http://screamsfromthepinkcollarghetto.blogspot.com/2010/07/humanitarians-aka-mercenaries.html

Riding on the khlong in Bangkok

 

 

So I commute to work on the khlong (canal) in Bangkok as in the video above.

• Today I'm in a sort of depressed funk. I think its due to a number of things:
• Romantic confusion;
• Realizing I don't have much zeal for returning to Afghanistan for work after missing (by two days) a suicide bomber attack on a hotel where I was staying;
• Knowing I have six months left on this job contract but not wanting to move again;
• Missing my friends in the US since it was the 4th of July and I didn't do anything special - I didn't even make my dad's famous potato salad. (however, I plan to do it for the weekend and have a bbq with my friend Carol).

 

So I'm trying to combat it by listening to some good music to change my mood. Here is the playlist on the canal this morning:

George Harrison - Give me Love
The Beatles - The End
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers - Refugee
Falco - Der Kommisar
My Chemical Romance - Teenagers
Ludacris - Rollout (My Business)
Earth, Wind, and Fire- Boogie Wonderland
AC/DC - You Shook Me All Night Long

Between AC/DC and Ludicris - the mood lifted....