Wednesday, July 06, 2011

Homesickness: Depressed or Melancholy about being away from home and family

It was the fourth of July on Monday - and it snuck up on me. I have been traveling a lot - From May 18 - May 25 I was in Pakistan and then I was in Nepal from May 30 until June 11th, Afghanistan from June 11 - 24th, and Norway and Denmark from June 24th until June30th.  Almost 6 weeks straight! I sat there on the 4th of July missing South Carolina and Washington DC and New York City. I wanted to eat my dad's fantastic potato salad and a tomato sandwich (with Hellman's mayonnaise). I wanted a barbecue with hot dogs and hamburgers and corn on the cob. I wanted to watch fireworks. Most of all, I wanted to just hang out with my friends - good friends. The kind you can talk about inane things with and giggle and just HANG OUT. I didn't really make an effort to find out if there was any "American" stuff going on in Thailand though. I was "home" from traveling but it didn't feel like home.

But Bangkok isn't really my home unless home is where your cat is. I have belongings in a storage unit in South Carolina and a storage unit in Amsterdam. I have my things in my apartment in Bangkok but I'm still trying to make that my "home" - I bought some carpets in Afghanistan and i'm having a ceiling fan installed. By the time it becomes home - it may be time to leave.

I have a strong urge to travel - I've been wanting to go trekking in Nepal, learn to tango in Buenos Aires, or just travel through Laos, Cambodia, Burma, the islands of Thailand and Vietnam. But I also just want to have a place I can come home to. I've been thinking about downsizing to a cheaper apartment here in Bangkok and consolidating all my stuff here. But eh... I miss having a home. Where I know my neighbors - where I can pop out to the local shops and say hello to the folks. I feel a bit uprooted. or maybe I just need a holiday.

1 comment:

  1. Wow, I have been going through the same range of emotions, although they started before July 4th. Wanting to define "home," feeling like a bit of a vagabond and rootless, conflicted about loving travel and new cultures but also missing my own home(even though I am in DC I consider Philly "home"), etc. I was only to Australia and back twice in a have done a hell of a lot of traveling in a much shorter time frame. Take it easy, darling, and pamper yourself for a few weeks. It's OK to feel crappy and homesick. Love you and keep writing, P.