My review of Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon

Sadly, I was forced to watch Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon while on an Emirates Air Flight from Dubai to Cape Town. I also had to watch Mr. Popper's Penguins and the Green Lantern. It was grim. Here's my review of Transformers: 




ANGRY MAN SHOUTING (Shia Labouef) I AM IMPORTANT
Lame wise crack
Explosion
Hot girl being lingered over for 10 minutes by camera as her mouth is wide open for no good reason
ANGRY MAN SHOUTING
LOUD MACHINE FLYING THROUGH AIR
INCOMPREHENSIBLE MACHINES FIGHTING - LOUD MAGISTERIAL MUSIC
Optimus Prime!
Sentinal Prime!
MAGISTERIAL MUSIC!
LOUD MACHINE!
CRASH!
Fat man making wise crack!
LOUD MACHINE!
LOUD MACHINE!
LOUD MACINE!
Hot girl shouting
LOUD MACHINE!
LOUD MACHINE!
American flag.
The end (4 hours later)