Movies from 2016: My Reviews of the Good, the Meh, and the Ugly.

My thoughts on movies I saw in 2016 

(Note: some movies come late to BKK so there are some 2015 movies that I didn't see until 2016. Also, I watch movies on planes... so some are even older.)

The Good:
A Bigger Splash: That scene with Ralph Fiennes! The Hot Matthias Schoenaerts. I'd link to the scene with him and Tilda Swinton in the pool but that might be NSFW.

A Perfect Day: Despite the fact it was shot in Spain and about Wat/San Engineers - it was quite good at the annoyances and joys of being an aid worker. I really think Benicio Del Toro has been a MSF log. And that grumpy French girl is for sure an aid worker.

A Conspiracy of Faith: Danish film that I watched at the Sarajevo Film Festival. Sort of like a Kurt Wallendar book.

As I Open My Eyes: A stunning Tunisian film about what it means to be young and a woman who loves music. Lovely.  Sarajevo Film Festival.

The Big Short - made me cry because people are so greedy and there is nothing we can do to fix the world.

Brooklyn: love Saoirse Ronan.

CameraPerson: Lovely and evocative.

Captain Fantastic: I love Viggo Mortenson.

The Childhood of the Leader: One of the most atmospheric and interesting films I saw this year. Loved the imagery. Watch the trailer and tell me what you think. It's a pity that the whole crowd that came to see it at the Sarajevo Film Festival were only there to ask Ser Davos inane questions about Game of Thrones.

Dead Pool: I've always been a fan of Ryan Reynolds but he has picked some shitty movies. This one was good and brought us back to his glory days of Van Wilder.

Hail Caesar! Love the Coen Brothers but Channing Tatum channeling his Gene Kelly! And "Would that it were so simple."

I, Daniel Blake: It broke my heart. Also Sarajevo Film Festival

The Legend of Tarzan: Alexander Skarsgård in a loincloth. Need I say more?

Letters from War: Like watching a poem unfold. A Portugese film about the angolan civil war - a Sarajevo Film Festival special.

The Lobster: One of the oddest but best movies I saw last year. What animal would I be? Maybe a long haired pony. :)

Love and Friendship: Whit Stillman! A mean Kate Becksindale! Saw it at the Sarajevo Film Festival where after watching Lady Susan scheme and cheat everyone, a clueless female festival attendant stood up and told us and Whit Stillman that she really admired her and she was a "real woman" and all of us should be more like her.

Rogue One: Oddly, I read no previews before I went so was blown away! And Diego Luna!

Sicario - Emily Blount as a bad ass and serious evil drug lords but a bit confusing and not quite sure what was going on .

Testament to Youth - doomed british young men and Jon Snow marching off to war instead of Oxford. Weep Weep Weep

Taxi Driver:

The Meh:
Absolutely Fabulous: I wanted it to be so much more. But it was just okay. But I still love Patsy and Edina.

Burned - Bradley Cooper trying to channel Anthony Bourdain without the charm and saucy sexy sparkle but serious food porn

Hacksaw Ridge: Andrew Garfield alternating between Jesus and Forrest Gump. Some of the grossest violence ever. But an amazing man and a real life story. Too bad Mel Gibson was directing it.

Doctor Strange: Is there a movie that Benedict Cumberbatch WON'T do? He's turning into Nicolas Cage.

Zootopia: Not a huge fan of animated films. Cute but not memorable.

Land of Blood and Honey: Angelina Jolie's film about rape in Sarajevo. Some good performances but very dull. She seems to equate dull with serious.

Graduation: A Romanian film about a young girls' rape and her fathers ambitions for her. Just meh.

Various short movies at the Sarajevo Film Festival - not a fan of short movies.

The Awful:

The Hateful 8 - awful and boring "a long racist play."

Humidity: A Sarajevo Film Festival Serbian Film. I was so bored and annoyed. It made me hate everything about Serbia. At the end, the man next to me and I just sighed and said "Thank god its over."

Los Bastardos: Just like this skit from Saturday Night Live ... a pretentious and weird student film.

How to Be Single: One of the worst films I've ever seen. Dakota Johnson has ZERO chemistry. She is sooo lame.

2014: A Year in Movies in Bangkok

It was another dire year in movies in Bangkok. As per the trend, they mostly play the big blockbusters and I either have to download or watch other films on the plane. I long for the E Street Cinema in Washington DC. Bangkok could be a world class city if they improved their movies. Oh well.

(Key: I saw everything in the theatre unless its noted *Download ** Airplane)

The Good: 
Grand Budapest Hotel: My favorite movie of 2014. I had to wait until August to see it on the big screen in Bangkok and it was worth it. Ralph Fiennes is excellent and it was much darker than some of his other movies (although I remember the Life Aquatic with Steve Zazou being dark).

Dallas Buyer's Club: Matthew McConaughey continues to amaze. Funny, raunchy, and sad all at once. Jared Leto was also wonderful. This "honest trailer" got it right. Yeah - I know it was from 2013 but didn't come to BKK until 2014.

12 Years a Slave: burned a hole right through my soul and made me hate the South and everything it currently stands for. How dare we? Same - didn't see it until 2014.

Neighbors: I'm in love with Zac Efron. Period. This one was funny and not as offensive to women as I expected. Rose Byrnes was excellent.

Begin Again: sweet music, even Adam Levine seemed sweet in it.

Snow piercer*: Chris Evans almost unrecognizable but an amazing adventure film. Love post apocalypse films.

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes: I was rooting for the Damn Dirty Apes over the humans.

Godzilla: EXCELLENT. Atomic breath! Not enough panicked crowd scenes.

Fury: Couldn't believe how good the tank battles were. I have liked the director, David Ayer, ever since I saw End of Watch. Also a major miracle, Shia LaBouef was not that obnoxious. Michael Pena, excellent as always.

Edge of Tomorrow**: Singlehandedly turned me back into a Tom Cruise fan. Something about watching him die over and over again and being pathetic at the beginning brought me back to him. Plus Emily Blount as the Full Metal Bitch was wonderful!

Gone Girl: Really good and intense. The whole theatre was rapt. At one point, bitter married couples laughed bitterly. My single friend and I were shocked.  Love the "Cool Girl" speech.

Guardians of the Galaxy*: Surprised the hell out of me. I really liked it but then again I've always been a fan of Chris Pratt since Everwood so it shouldn't have surprised me that much. But I was really not interested in seeing a movie about a raccoon and a tree. Color me impressed.

Alan Partridge*: Superb! And so so funny. I love Steve Coogan.

Behind the Candelabra*: amazing performance by Matt Damon and Michael Douglas. Creepy. Even with plastic surgery to look like Liberace, Matt Damon is awesome. Rob Lowe was also insane!

Jiho Dreams of Sushi*: really beautiful and compelling.

In the Mood for Love*: Finally saw it in a hotel room in Myitkyina, Kachin, Myanmar. Made me crave noodles, nostalgia, and thwarted love.

Dom Hemingway**: Saw it on a plane. I love Jude Law because he's more than just a pretty face. And he was intense in this. And I loved that he didn't force Daenerys from Game of Thrones to be his girlfriend. She was his daughter instead. No vanity.

The Bad (Actually the Mediocre):
Inside Llewyn Davis - I don't know what all the hoopla was about except for the main actor was intense and hot. A bit disappointed in the Coen brothers. But I loved the orange cat!

The Fault in our Stars - not moved. I don't think I even cried. I don't know. Maybe I'm dead inside.

Maleficent:  hard to see Angelina as a fairy after the summit! A bit dull and could have been written to be more powerful. I loved the Lana Del Ray song and I actually like the rape analogy.

**The Two Faces of January: Pretty good. I love Viggo Mortenson and Oscaar Isaacs

The Railway Man: A bit dull but awesome to see Thailand on the big screen.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier ... I"m in love with Chris Evans. I believe in Captain America.

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay pt 1: Not as good as it should have been. I would have liked a bit more Orwellian scenes like when she's in District 13 and a little more "If we burn, you burn with us!" 

**X Men: Days of Future Past: I also love Michael Fassbender and Wolverine so it worked for me. I loved the 70s aesthetic. The present day story of Mystique’s vendetta against Peter Dinklage‘s Trask feels repetitive of ideas we explored in the previous films…with thoughtful social commentary they were interested in exploring years ago  left on the floor, offering the audience only in your face statements.

Long Way Down**: I thought it would be excellent. Nick Hornby. Pierce Brosnan. Toni Collette. Can Jesse Pinkman be serious? The answer. Not so much. Just not quite as good as About a Boy or High Fidelity.

The Ugly: 
The Hobbit 3: Ridiculous. The special effects were not good at all! Legolas running up the collapsing bridge? And the ridiculous animals they all rode into battle? Bored. The honest trailer below sums up this one too.

Bad Words: Terrible Edit in Doha. they edited out all the bad language, the sex, and the "immoral scenes", I think it was 20 minutes long and incomprehensible. It might have been good and funny but I would never know.

Noah**: Good Lord! I couldn't believe how they managed to make this tale so boring and annoying! No shots of animals??? And even Emma Watson was bad in it. The dialogue was ridiculous and I didn't like the Nephilim/ Watchers/Rock Giants/Fallen Angels.


Lucy: Stupid stupid stupid. The smartest woman in the world battles it out in 5 inch stilettos and a dour look on her face. Buzzfeed sums up the stupidity.

Her: Stupid Stupid Stupid. I have never wanted to walk out of a movie so badly.

The Maze Runner: Actually walked out of it. So boring and trite.

A year in movies: 2013

(A short list of all the movies I saw in the theatre or on airplanes this year)

The Good: 
Pacific Rim*: Disappointingly i had to watch it on the airplane but it was good cheesy fun with a strong female lead. Robots! Giant monsters! Hope to see it on the big screen one day.

Gravity - IMAX 3D - what a sensory adventure. I saw it after 3 months living back in time in Burma and was just blown away. Well worth the extra money for IMAX.

Catching Fire: The Hunger Games 2- very good escapist and dark but still moving. Love the female lead. Curious to see how they will do book 3. And I'll miss Lenny Kravitz.

Which Way to the Front Line: Documentary on Tim Hetherington - really moving but perhaps more for his friends as a way to remember him than a real expose on his work. But I wept to see his promise ended so soon.

Zero Dark Thirty: Also very intense and gripping. It was a good film and well acted. A bit too close for comfort with the Pakistan explosions.

Mud: Great movie and performance by Matthew McConaughey. Really Oscar worthy - and great child actors too. Made me sort of home sick for South Carolina.

Silver Linings Playbook: Such a great movie! Bradley Cooper can act! Jennifer Lawrence was great but mostly I just love the director David O. Russell.

Bernie*: Saw on the airplane to Tokyo - really funny, really well acted, hysterical and so true of the South.

End of Watch*: Great performances by Jake Gyllenhal and Freddie Pena. I was really moved by this movie.

The Okay: 
Wolverine: I liked it more than i thought I would because it was set in Japan and I went there this year. But I didn't understand the end at all!

Despicable Me 2: Cute and good for some giggles. I liked the minions and the Macho villain.

World War Z: So disappointing compared to the book but on its own - it stands up as okay. B-. But WHO saves the world??? God help us.

Warm Bodies: Surprisingly romantic - saw it on Valentine's Day in Bangkok surrounded by 100 couples.

Jack the Giant Slayer: Could have been more charming but still fun

Mama** (actually saw it on the bus on my visa run to Cambodia but it was still playing in the theatre!) Good gothic fun and creepy premise.

The Boring: 
Midnight's Children: What a long and rambling boring movie.... I'm sure the book was much more interesting. The actors were not good, the plot was a bit draggy, and all of the interesting things got glossed over.

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters* - too gory and not nearly as much fun as it should have been. I find Jeremy Renner very dull and don't think he should be a lead.

Side Effects*: Was hoping that Jude Law would lift it but Rooney Mara is such a dull actress. I didn't buy it at all.

Bachelorette Party: Boring, crass, borderline offensive. But Kirsten Dunst is awesome!

Frank and the Robot: Not funny, not a crime caper, and instead a really depressing take on Alzheimers.

Beautiful Creatures: Set in South Carolina, supernatural romance between two hot teens, sultry scenary chewing by Jeremy Irons and Emma Thompson but still dull dull dull.

Still hoping to see before the end of the year: 
American Hustle

The Hobbit 2

12 Years a Slave

Inside Llewyn Davis



The World's End

2012 Movies

I was in Bangkok and on airplanes again this year - not a good combination for watching great movies. The actual theatres in Bangkok are spectacular - clean, modern, comfortable and you can get seaweed in your popcorn and there is assigned seating - but the movie choices are miserable. As I was recovering from a job and unemployed for most of the year, I was able to go to a lot of movies and matinees. But the findings were blech...

But I got to the US just in time for Oscar season and started to see some of the big ones... I'm sad that I missed Silver Linings Playbook and Anna Karenina but I hope to find them and watch them before the year is out.

The best: 
Moonrise Kingdom - Probably my favorite movie of the year so far (as of July 2012). I adore Wes Anderson and love his style. The music was spot on and I loved the kid actors. That little girl stole the movie from Bill Murray and Edward Norton and Bruce Willis. She still stays with me when I think about running away with my love - star crossed lovers who find each other despite all odds. I love the musical numbers...

Magic Mike - surprisingly good! I saw it alone in a crowded theatre in Bangkok and just laughed and cheered through it. I've now become a Channing Tatum fan. Funny and good looking and that guy can DANCE!

The Hunger Games - really loved it. Saw it again on the airplane and it was still as good. Managed to draw you in like the book but not make it mawkish teenage dreck like the Twilight movies.

Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (Airplane) - excellent! I wished I had seen it in the theatre. I have seen the Swedish version and this one was just as good, I think. I love Daniel Craig and Robin Wright Penn together and the scenary was fantastic. Rooney Mara was a great Lizbeth Salander.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona (Airplane) - excellent and sexy. Javier Bardem! Penelope Cruz! Wow! One of Woody Allen's better movies (not particularly deep) but sexy and entertaining.

Argo - so excellent, I think this is one of the best movies I saw in 2012. Tense, funny, politically savvy. I think my only complaint was that Ben Affleck was a bit too low key in it. But he looked super sexy with his beard and long hair.... 

Beasts of the Southern Wilds*** (Airplane) Such a wonderful and moving film. I was really blown away. It was also so refreshing to actually see a movie told from a different perspective than a White man. The cinematography was stunning, the story was original, and the acting was raw and real. The little girl Hush Puppy was so amazing. 

Skyfall - best Bond film I've seen in ages. Daniel Craig is killing it and Ralph Fiennes will be a nice addition to the series. It hit all the things one might want in a Bond film but I wish there had been a more compelling story with the Asian girl from the brothel who leads Bond to the villain.

Lincoln - Saw it in the theatre in South Carolina surrounded by both black and white South Carolinians. I wondered about their political leanings, I wondered how they felt when they were described as traitors and treasonous (which I believe they were), and there were a few anti-South moments that felt tense. Daniel Day Lewis was fantastic and I liked Sally Field's performance although it was very "sally fields" . not as many Spielberg-esque moments as I had feared (the entry of the black men and women into the house of representatives to watch the debate) and the music didn't put me off. A fascinating look into the politics and made me sad that our rough and tumble political world isn't more dynamic - instead its all posturing for the cameras.

The middle of the road/good/entertaining: 
The Hobbit: It just went on and on but I was happy to be back in the Middle Earth again. Dwarves are boring though. I would rather just see Bilbo Baggins and Gandalf talking all day than deal with those boring dwarves.

The Impossible: A very moving story about a family that survives the Tsunami of 2004. Thailand comes out looking great- their doctors save the patients, their people rescue the farangs, their airlines are awesome, and their hotel staff are great! Overcome any doubts you have about the "racism" in this movie- its just a particular story. The Thais have a movie industry. If they want to make a movie about how Thais overcame the tsunami, they will.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter - pretty good with cool special effects but a bit odd. I did quite like the horse stampede fight sccene.

Men in Black III - I could see the "twist" coming from a 100 miles away. There were very few black generals in the US Air Force who would be guarding Cape Canaveral in the 1960s... lame.

The Avengers - saw it in 4D. Not that great. Some funny lines but still a rather shallow and not very exciting super hero film. Scarlett Johansen and that dreary bowman add almost nothing to this film. Give me all Captain America and David Bruce Banner all the time!

The Amazing Spider Man - pretty good. Andrew Garfield is as cute as a puppy dog and I love Emma Stone but I still prefer MaryJane and the red hair.

The Grey -incredibly intense! I just love Liam Neeson. And the plane crash was horrifying. I felt like I was on the edge of my seat the whole time.

Salmon Fishing in the Yemen - horrible ending! She waited for that guy and mourned his death and then when he comes back, she ditches him???

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows - eh. I like the Robert Downy jr. and Jude Law chemistry but it needs more of that.

Bad Teacher (Airplane) - pretty funny - I like Cameron Diaz more and more when I see her playing the anti-hero. And Justin is a good prude.

Friends with Kids (Airplane) - pretty good and thought -provoking. A lot of great actors in this one. Adam Scott is, of course, everyone's dream boyfriend - except for that whole Megan Fox thing.

Gosford Park (Airplane) - seen before but excellent to watch again. I'm including it because maybe since everyone loves Downton Abbey now, we can get another movie from Julian Ffellowes.

To Rome with Love - parts were cute and very funny but it was very uneven.

Ted - way too long. The parts in Fenway Park were just painful. But Marky Mark is always a treat on the screen.

Cloud Atlas - a difficult book to film. Was one of my favorite books in book club. I loved the Luisa Rey sections and the crazy Korean Soon-Mi sections the most although Jim Broadbent may now be my favorite character actor of all time. I just love him. The prostethics to make people seem Asian or White were very very lame but I was still in love with the scenes. Perhaps it was my overwhelming adoration for the book that oozed over into the movie but I quite liked it.

Life of Pi - a beautiful visual extravaganza. I don't know how much it resonates, particularly with me about spirituality and religion and god but it was gorgeous to watch. Especially the scene with the whale and the phosphoresce.

The Five Year Engagement (Airplane) - also a waste of talented actors who usually have chemistry. Emily Blount's character was so self centered and undeserving of her boyfriend. And I can't believe a town like Ann Arbor would not have one restaurant that would hire him. Also, I was glad when they broke up. Since I saw it on Qatar Air, they edited out the one scene I had heard about when he tries to fake an orgasm.

Total Recall (Airplane) - not as cheesy as the original Arnold Schwarznegger extravaganza but still enjoyable. Kate Beckinsale has become an odd parody of herself. I finally buy her as an action figure but her mean girl attitude from "Last Days of Disco" is in full effect as a villain. Maybe she should only play mean girl robots from now on. I was suprised Qatar air showed the three boobed prostitute. Was she wearing a bikini top in the original film? 

The dreadful:
Prometheus - so many problems with this movie.... so many many problems. This article sum up many of my problems with it...I left the movie furious and dying to discuss it with people and NOONE had seen it. I'm still waiting to hear from others who saw it.

Snow White and the Huntsman - ridiculous that Kristen Stewart can be cast in anything that demands any acting beyond looking like you might throw up. This video sums up the "Kristen Stewart school of acting" that was on full display in the film despite Charlize Theron's best efforts.

In the Cold Light of Day - straight to video normally, but because of the deficit of films in Bangkok - I went to see it. Really, not worth the time at all. I don't know who is trying to sell us Henry Cavill as a leading man but please just stop. It got a six on Rotten Tomatos. I think that should say something.

The Raven - ridiculous. John Cusack has joined the Nicholas Cage school of acting. "Shut it Bernice" was an actual line spoken by the so called 18th century villain. C'mon!

Young Adult (Airplane) - depressing and not funny at all although Patton Oswalt is great.

People Like Us (Airplane) - painfully bad and boring. I can't remember who the male lead was now but Michelle Pfeiffer and Elizabeth Banks deserve better. They are fantastic.

What to Expect when you are Expecting (Airplane) - you can always tell its going to be a bad movie when they have a long montage set to a mopey contemporary love song. Ugh. This clip is as bad as the movie.

Movies I wanted to see but didn't come to Thailand:
Anna Karenina

Silver Linings Playbook

Django Unchained

2011: A Year in Movies

I love to go to the movies but Bangkok (despite having spectacular theatres) does not really play many of the types of movies I like to see. However, I did manage to sneak in quite a few (thanks to airplane trips to Europe, Asia, and South Africa).

Loved:
1. Captain America - reminded me of Indiana Jones. I particularly loved the USO show part with the cheery music!

2. The Help - brought me right back to South Carolina

3. The King's Speech- saw in Feb 2011, good old Anglophilia movie

4. Little Red Riding Hood* - lush and romantic with some amazing images. Great Scenery chewing by Gary Oldman and much better teenage love than Twilight.

5. True Grit** - particularly Matt Damon! But everyone was great in this movie. You can't go wrong with the Coen Brothers!

6. Jane Eyre* - another stylistic and beautiful retelling of an old favorite - plus Michael Fassbender!

7. Midnight in Paris - Don't like Woody Allen anymore but could not resist this film. The guy who played Ernest Hemingway was amazing!


8. Hanna* - A crazy race around Europe. I loved it. The girl assassin is amazing and I love Eric Bana.

9. Cedar Rapids* - fantastic and funny and surprising. I felt like I had been to this conference. Better than Bridesmaids in my opinion.

Not Too Bad:
10. Contagion* - you get to see Gwyneth Paltrow's head be sawed off in an autopsy!

11. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2* - I wept, I'll admit it. Some pretty good war scenes and very intense. A great ending to one of my favorite kid's series.

12. Submarine* - some great 70s scenes, a great protaganist, and a good reminder of heart break.

13. Water for Elephants* - Robert Pattinson is not too bad and I do like Reese Witherspoon but Christophe Waltz steals the show as usual.

14. Bridesmaids - had to see it after all the hype but was rather under-whelmed. It did hit female friendship quite well but I could have done without the diarrhea jokes. But I loved the Irish cop.

15. Get Him to the Greek** - love Russell Brand but don't like the fat guy with the curly hair. I don't find him funny, just weird. But P Diddy was quite funny....

Should have been better:
16. One Day - the book was great, the movie sucked but had some okay parts. Anne Hathaway was completely miscast and the aging effects were terrible.

17. X men First Class* - stylistically beautiful but I didn't buy Kevin Bacon as the villain. I also saw because I'm obsessed with James Macavoy and Michael Fassbender.

Saw because I was desperate to watch a movie:
18. The Priest - surprisingly interesting - cowboys, the Spanish Inquisition, and ugly vampires. And I like Paul Bettany.

19. Don't Be Afraid of the Dark - I thought I was going to see Fright Night and surprise! A shitty Katie Holmes movie about the tooth fairy!

20. Mr. Popper's Penguins* - some amusing parts but why is watching penguins shit a crowd pleaser?

21. The Hangover 2 - loved watching Bangkok in its squalor but again, it went too far and was not funny enough.


Hated:
22. Tower Heist - seriously bad. I could have re-written the whole thing and was tempted to do so. I felt like I could predict the lines. And Eddie Murphy should have been funnier.

23. Somewhere - As my friend Brian Griffin said at the end of this snoozefest - "I think I threw up in my mouth a little bit" - come on Sofia Coppola!

24. Thor - small people rattling around in a big set and an annoying hero who I wanted to see die. Watch the trailer I linked to - its definitely better than the movie.

25. Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon* - See previous review. "CRASH, THUD, BANG"

KEY:
* Saw on the airplane
** Saw on the movies on demand in the hospital

My review of Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon

Sadly, I was forced to watch Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon while on an Emirates Air Flight from Dubai to Cape Town. I also had to watch Mr. Popper's Penguins and the Green Lantern. It was grim. Here's my review of Transformers: 




ANGRY MAN SHOUTING (Shia Labouef) I AM IMPORTANT
Lame wise crack
Explosion
Hot girl being lingered over for 10 minutes by camera as her mouth is wide open for no good reason
ANGRY MAN SHOUTING
LOUD MACHINE FLYING THROUGH AIR
INCOMPREHENSIBLE MACHINES FIGHTING - LOUD MAGISTERIAL MUSIC
Optimus Prime!
Sentinal Prime!
MAGISTERIAL MUSIC!
LOUD MACHINE!
CRASH!
Fat man making wise crack!
LOUD MACHINE!
LOUD MACHINE!
LOUD MACINE!
Hot girl shouting
LOUD MACHINE!
LOUD MACHINE!
American flag.
The end (4 hours later)